Can't Love You Enough

You see, honey,

The glass slipper

Isn’t going to fit me.

My feet are too big,

My heart is too broken,

And the love I have

Is little compared to

The love you need.

I could always try

To set you free,

But I’d never win,

I never could compete.

I’m just a simple

Heart who once

Had a pair of wings.

But now I soar with

Only my voice as I

Let myself sing.

You can hear me through

The whistling wind in

The branches of trees,

And the stinging of bees.

You can hear me in the ocean

As it gets caught in a conch shell,

For you to have forever,

For you to hear me forever.

But I must stay that way,

Far enough away,

So that we could never touch.

It’s not that I don’t love you,

It’s that I can’t love you enough.

That's Why...

I've watched a lot of people in my life go through things that should've shattered them, only to come out as a better and much stronger person in the end. I’ve watched them struggle to find peace, and eventually find it. That's why I still have my faith.

I've watched plenty of relationships fall apart, I've seen hearts break and tears shed, and I've also seen people change because they lost the reason to rely on the person they love. But amidst all of that pain and loss, I've seen the love between two people remain stronger than any bond in the world, even through all of the storms that were thrown their way. That's why I still believe in love.

I've seen horrible and terrifying things happen to people. I've seen murders and witnessed the loved ones left behind struggling to go on with their lives. I've seen death come in and wreck worlds, leaving behind an ocean of tears and a puddle of broken dreams. I've seen heartless monsters look into the eyes of a complete stranger and end their lives, all while they wore a smile on their face. But amidst all of this evil, I've witnessed lives rebuilt by the hands of angels dressed in the clothes of everyday people, the ones we pass on the street without a second glance. That's why I still believe in this world.

Forever and Always

In that moment, as he stared at her from across the cafe, he knew that it wasn't about what people thought about you or what they said in soft whispers to their friends. It wasn't about the heartbreaks and the moments of giving into fear. It wasn't about counting the number of scars and remembering them time and time again.

Instead, life is about finding the moments when you wouldn't mind it a bit if you were frozen in it forever. Life is about moments of happiness when you forget about all of the tears you've shed and all the pieces of your heart that were lost somewhere in the past. Life is about the kisses that stop time and cause your heart to skip a beat. Life is about waking up to the love of your life every morning and feeling like you are seeing them for the first time. Life is about living in the present, not in the past or the future.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't until everyone in the room, including her, turned to look at him in surprise that he realized he'd shouted it. But it didn't matter. The world needed to hear what he had to say. "I'm sorry, Brooke. For everything. I pushed you away because for the first time in my life, I wanted to hold on to you forever. I was afraid that you'd decide to walk away on your own and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle that, so I thought it'd be easier this way. I was wrong. It still hurts like hell."

He walked close enough to her so that he could smell her perfume, the same flowery scent he still smelt every night on his bed sheets, and knelt down on one knee. The room erupted in simultaneous sighs, including one from her. "Life is confusing. It's a bunch of winding roads and empty places, and it's sometimes so dark that I feel as if I can't find my way anymore. But with you, Brooke, it's so much more. You're my light when I'm lost, you're my shelter from the storm, and you're my favorite song. When I look at you every morning, I know I will look forward to the moment you open your eyes for the rest of my life. And when I hold you at night, I feel like there's nothing in the world that could top the feeling. I know that I've done a pretty lousy job at showing you that I'm in love with you, and I'm sorry for that, so I understand if the answer to this question is a no..."

Ethan stopped just a moment to reach into his jacket pocket. When he did, he pulled out a ring box and held it up to her. "Brooke James, you're my everything. I want you in my life forever, and I need you for eternity. If you let me, I will spend every second of the rest of my life proving to you that I love you. I'll never stop fighting for your dreams and I'll never, ever let you fall. I'll love you til the day I die, and long after that. So, what do you say? Will you marry me?"

"Ethan..." The room was dead quiet as she stared down at the ring and was sure he was going to have a panic attack at any moment. But then, something remarkable happened. She put her hands on both sides of his face and leaned in to kiss him, only pulling away to say one thing. "Of course I'll marry you, idiot. I said forever and always, right?"

Lost in the moment, he picked her up and spun her around. This, he thought absently, is what life is all about... Love is what it's about.

Her Voice Is Infinite

Honestly, I don’t know where to begin, mostly because I’ve never written anything as personal and honest as this post, but I have to write this. It’s been on my mind and weighing heavy on my heart for quite a while and it isn’t fair for me not to put it into words as best I can.

I read a recent article on two females in India who were horrifically gang raped, and when I did, I can truthfully say it took a minute for me to find my faith in not only God, but in life again. The article talked about two different cases, one where a 13 year old girl was raped repeatedly and kidnapped until she was finally set free; the other was a medical student in her twenties who was gang raped on a bus by numerous men before finally being beaten and left for dead.

These two girls had their entire lives ahead of them. The 13 year old will have to live her life in constant fear of it happening to her again. She most likely won’t be able to have children, and when it comes to falling in love, she’ll be a lot more hesitant. She’ll awake in the middle of the night to nightmares and she’ll always have to look over her shoulder. But she’ll live on, even if it’s in her own personal hell.

The other woman won’t be as lucky; Or maybe, it’s her who’s was the lucky one. She won’t be able to fall in love and have children on her own, nor will she be able to live out her childhood dreams and start her career. She was taken unfairly, and I’m sure far before her time.

The amount of sadness and pity I felt didn’t stand a chance with the anger and fear that took over my mind. Suddenly, it wasn’t those two women I pictured it happening to. Instead, it was my little sister or one of my little cousins. It hurt me to the point where I had tears forming in my eyes, and since I was at work, I had to excuse myself for a moment. It devastated me to know that human beings could be this cruel to one another. It also made me realize how truly blessed I am to be living in a country where women are treated as equals to men. In India, however, that’s a different story. Over there, they are pieces of property and of a much lower status than men.

I fear for our world sometimes, but the fear can’t crush the hope that I still have for our youth and the power they could have if they decided to band together. If one voice could find another until there are a sea of voices flowing together, we could find change and peace in this world. We could find a way to change the horrific things that we allow people to commit on other people.

Out of this horrific story, I wrote a short poem in memory of those two victims, and of all the other women who have been subjected to these tragedies. Also, after reading this story, I know that there are thousands of other cases just like these two. Light needs to be shed on them, and if I can, I’ll do everything in my power to be some of that light. And possibly, with God’s help, I’ll be able to change the future for others.

 

Infinite Voices

A muffled whisper

In the darkness of the night,

The fear in their eyes,

Unable to fight.

 

There are no answers,

No reasons.

She weeps and begs,

But no one can hear.

 

She lets fear take over

And swallows her voice.

What’s left is quiet and sin,

The ending of a life.

 

But her wings grow quickly

And take her to the sun.

She looks down with a smile,

Knowing her voice was heard.

 

She faced fear,

But she didn’t lose.

Her memory and strength

Will always be infinite.

 

Her voice will be infinite.

Her life will be infinite.

 

My Trust Is Gone

Why don’t you lie again?

Let the words run off your tongue.

I’m not as stupid as you think,

I’m not a love song you’ve sung.

I see your eyes glimmer

And the smile about to form.

I’d give you the world,

But I’m the one who needs more.

I deserve a whole heart

That’s devoted to only me.

Yours is in too many places,

I can’t set you free.

So I’m spreading my wings and taking off,

I’ll get lost in the night.

I’m not wasting my life on you,

I know you’ll be alright.

Go find the love you want

And I’ll start moving on.

I loved you more than possible,

But all my trust is gone.